A relationship with no trust is like a phone with no service. And when you phone has no service, What do you do? You play games
Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt
Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me