Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
How can you tell which is the head nurse? The one with the dirty knees.
If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still number 2?
What is the difference between a clever midget and a venereal disease? One is a cunning runt, and the other is a running c*nt