Dear Week, I'm so over you. I'm leaving you for your best friend, Weekend. Don't try to find us for at least 2 days
Being dumb is almost impossible nowadays. The competition is simply too big.
The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.