Depression: A period during which we have to get along without the things our grandparents never dreamed of
Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too.
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this?" "You're speaking to it."
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.