Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why did the blonde stare at a frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said "concentrate"!
April Fools' Day is like a huge open mic night in which millions of people go out of their way to demonstrate how unfunny they are.