Fridges should have glass doors.That way i don't have to stand with the fridge door open trying to figure out my next move
The human soul weighs 1.2lbs. I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into my job
Lawyers really aren't so bad, it's just ninety-nine percent of lawyers that make the rest look bad
When I was a kid my mother stopped breastfeeding me. I asked her why and she says "hey, I just wanna be friends."