If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them
Get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day