If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve? Social Security.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you
What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float? You turn on the lights and shoot the black guy stealing it.