I'm selling a parachute - just as new, used only one time, didn't open once.
Beauty is only skin deep ...but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
Why do they call it Alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'Hi, My name is John and I am an alcoholic'
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this?" "You're speaking to it."