Marriage advice for dummies: Five worst things you can do 5 Abandon 4 Lie 3 Cheat 2 Abuse 1 Forget to start the dishwasher
You're so fat, you could sell shade.
Old Chinese proverb: Rape impossible! Woman with skirt up run faster than man with trousers down!
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.