My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. He was right, I feel ten years older already
An ad at the zoo: 'Don't scare the ostriches! The floors are concrete!'
He doesn't know the meaning of fear... but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words
If I'm about to die, keep me alive. I wanna be a burden, I want my feet clean, I want my diaper changed.