My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, And the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
You haven't experienced awkward until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.