Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team.
When I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product, the only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on.
Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here."
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera? Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time
