One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?
I always say "morning" instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to you.
You're 10 times more likely to die when your girlfriend says, "I'm fine" than when you are flying on an airplane.
