What did the egg say to the boiling water? It will take a minute for me to get hard I just got laid by a chick
A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
When my friends are sad, i send them a long ass paragraph, but when I'm sad, they only say "Oh sorry" or "Well that sucks"
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.