What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree would kill you? A pool table
My ex-girlfriend told me nothing shocks her anymore so I switched her digital scale from Lbs to Kg
I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.
Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday