What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree would kill you? A pool table
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.
He doesn't know the meaning of fear... but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of MOST words