Who was the first to see a cow and think "I wonder what will happen if I squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?"
I'm not lazy... I'm just on my energy saving mode.
What does a gay man and an ambulance have in common? They both get loaded from the rear and go whoo-whoo!
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.