Why does it feel like time slows down during the day when you're at work and rapidly speeds up at night when you get home?
What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry
I rather go to hell than Heaven. I don't know how mermaids in heaven can seduce me when they don't have legs to spread.
What is a blonde's favorite fairy tale? Humpme Dumpme!