A woman comes into the mall today, so huge she's protected by Greenpeace and asks for a size 4 shoe. So I asked her if she wants to eat them there or takes them home
I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury my wife in the backyard
What's for breakfast Peg today? Scrambled nothing or nothing over easy?
Why would I say I was in love with her if I ever had sex with her?