A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh alright, I'll stay the night."
Life is an internet. 30 days after you met she wants you to register and begins taking taxes every month
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
I don't have a beer gut, I have a protective covering for my rock hard abs.