A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.
If you get in the mood to do some work, someone will always wake you up.
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise!
How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.
