Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow
I rather go to hell than Heaven. I don't know how mermaids in heaven can seduce me when they don't have legs to spread.
I tried to be polite and hold the door open for a woman, but she kept screaming, "I'm peeing in here!"
Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible.