Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me. I said u look really fat in those pants!
What is the difference between a blonde and a Lamborghini? You don't let your friends borrow your Lamborghini