Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? "I'm stuck on you!"
My idea of flirting is giving a girl 1 of my 10 tacos.
I would give my dad what he really wants on Father's Day, but I can't afford to move out yet