How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day; give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish
Why do vegetarians give good head? Because they are used to eating nuts!
What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.