I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
No! for the last time stop asking if i am drunk. I am not drunk! Who would name their kid drunk?
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
I rather go to hell than Heaven. I don't know how mermaids in heaven can seduce me when they don't have legs to spread.
