I don't have a Fitbit. But I have a couple of fat bits.
Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it
Will you marry me, so I can move in with you, become unemployed, play video games, eat cheetos all day long and buy you gifts with food stamps ?
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time
