I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you
The only time a woman wishes that she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby
Wouldn't exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
Marriage advice for dummies: Five worst things you can do 5 Abandon 4 Lie 3 Cheat 2 Abuse 1 Forget to start the dishwasher