I tried to hang myself with a bungee chord. I kept almost dying
I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it.
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk.
Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack
