I'm as bored as a slut on her period.
What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
I always say "morning" instead of “good morning”. If it were a good morning I’d still be in bed instead of talking to you.
We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick.