Men are like Bluetooth. When they're close they're connected, when they move further they start looking for new equipment
What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch? A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!
Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house