Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".
I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I shit on?"
Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house
Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now