My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.
Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: "Next time, take off the candles."
Brains are wonderful, I wish everyone had one.
Who can make more money in a week, a drug dealer or a prostitute? The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack