Slept like a log last night... Woke up in the fireplace.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
My dream woman has a special combination of inner and outer beauty and is, most importantly, too naive to know she's way out of my league.
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.