The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
