The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, And the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
What's a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.