What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car
Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a mustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus.
If God hadn't meant the pussy to be eaten, he wouldn't have made it look like a taco
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.