What's a mixed feeling? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car
A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. She said, "Depends on what's in it for me."
Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg? Because they won't stop to ask directions
The dinner I was cooking for my family was going to be a surprise but the fire trucks ruined it