What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick!
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."
I love my FedEx guy cause he's a drug dealer and he doesn't even know it, and he's always on time
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
