Why did the blond get fired from the banana plantation? Because she threw out all the bent ones.
If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"
I rather go to hell than Heaven. I don't know how mermaids in heaven can seduce me when they don't have legs to spread.
I get plenty of exercise, jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines