Why do they call it Alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'Hi, My name is John and I am an alcoholic'
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash. Mind if we shared a cab home?
I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you've had?