Why do they call it Alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'Hi, My name is John and I am an alcoholic'
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. ...
Alcoholism is the only disease that tries to convince you that you don't have it
The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? "Cause you're fatter than they are."