You can't know a person well until you live with them. You can't know them really well until you divorce them
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed
Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending? Because they needed to be ad-dressed!
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree would kill you? A pool table