Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for
A fat woman Godzillas into the shoe store today, asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly, I suggest she wear a sign that says: "Don't shoot from the front I look human"
So I'm trying to force a pair of size 13 shoes on her Jurassic feet
I'll tell you what I do then, We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you, when you reach the shade of blue that is satisfactory to you, you yell "Moo" and I'll stop