I had a dream last night. A big red haired mosquito in tight pants was hovering over me sucking money out of my wallet
Remember, a man is a man all of his life. A woman is only sexy till she becomes your wife
Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime
A fat woman Godzillas into the shoe store today, asks for something she could wear to walk in the woods. Jokingly, I suggest she wear a sign that says: "Don't shoot from the front I look human"