"Kelly": We've never had a father-daughter talk. "Al": That's because up until now, I've never had anything to say to you.
Kids, why didn't you tell me it was your mother's birthday? I wouldn't have come home
Did you know that daddy's nurse was a fat woman who used to come to his shoe store? I say "used to" because her patronage fell off when she came in and asked for something to make her foot look small, and I said "try your ass"
This is my week off, so pack up, get the kids and I'll see you in a week