Kids, why didn't you tell me it was your mother's birthday? I wouldn't have come home
So, when some moo-cow thunders in here with a pie under each chin, I'm not supposed to ask if that's the Star Spangled banner she's belching so I know whether to sit or stand
I hate my life. Can't eat, can't sleep, can't bury my wife in the backyard
That was a great year for America. Ike was in the White House, women were in the kitchen, and guys like you were in the closet