Kids, why didn't you tell me it was your mother's birthday? I wouldn't have come home
A fat woman sloshed into the shoe store today, said she was retaining water, I said not to worry about it. The dam of cellulite holding it back should keep us all high and dry for the next few years
And no one understand why I scream on the way back home
I married you till death do us part. Which means when I'm dead I'm free to date