Unlike marriage, phone sex is a victim-less crime
We're closed and, much like my life, the day is over
Except for the day before the day I met you, this is the happiest day of my life
This skinny woman with a hook nose olive oyls into the shoe store, and says "I want something to make me look sexy". So I say "You'll have to wait a long time before someone that ugly comes in to stand next to you"
