Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes.
If a woman falls, an idiot will walk by, a gentleman will help her to get up, but a real man will lie down with her
If a man goes cheats for four times, according to the rules of geometry, he will come home
I like to stop the microwave at 1 second left just to feel like a bomb-defuser.