Do I play fantasy football? Dude, I'm 46 and married. Most of my life is fantasy
When I was a kid my mother stopped breastfeeding me. I asked her why and she says "hey, I just wanna be friends."
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones
Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me
