I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
Why does the bride always wear white? Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator
Do I play fantasy football? Dude, I'm 46 and married. Most of my life is fantasy
Whats the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet? The Christmas alphabet has Noel