[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't hear me. I said u look really fat in those pants!
An angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour, but it will take her a week to pack for vacation
My five year plan? I don't even have a five minute plan.
If you think for a second that I'm being serious, you're a guaranteed golden medal in the Special Olympics