Monsters aren't under your bed or in your closet. They're the people you give your heart to who don't want it but take it anyway.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.