Monsters aren't under your bed or in your closet. They're the people you give your heart to who don't want it but take it anyway.
How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? FORE!
What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12
When your kids are little, you're a superhero. When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility.